The mails I have received because of my site have been varied. I have had some heartbreaking mails from young girls who have told me their story and then told me that it was the first time they have ever spoken of it. I have cried for those girls and prayed that they find someone they can trust and tell. I have had mails from people who have told me that my site saved them; my site did not save you but im so very glad it gave you the push you needed to save yourself. I’ve had mails from middle-aged women with families who have poured out their pain to me, telling me about the abuse they suffered as a child and their guilt over having never told. I told but I didn’t tell my whole story, not once when I reported my uncle did I use the word rape. I told what I could and that was very hard, you have no reason to feel guilty if you never said anything at all. Telling is one of hardest things to do give yourself I break if you haven’t told anyone. I hope one day you can talk and break the silence that your abuser imposed on you.

To the people who ask me why I made this site ill give you a quick list of the reasons I did,

I made this site to give me a place to break my silence,

I made this site to help other women/men who have been abused or raped.

I made this site to bring hope to other survivors.

I made this site to support those beautiful souls who find enough love and compassion to support survivors.

I did not make this site as a cry for attention believe me being raped brings you far to much attention.

I did not make this site so you would feel sorry for me, I am stronger than you know and your pity does not help me heal.

I did not make this site so people would try to save me, I don’t need saving, I have, can and will save myself.

I receive mails from people who for want of a better expression I consider to be brain dead. The content of those mails I wont reveal because it doesn’t deserve my web space.

Sometimes it is a daunting thought knowing I don’t have my silence to hide behind anymore, but at the same time im proud of myself for opening up to the world. I’ve nothing to be ashamed of; the shame does not belong to me. The shame does not belong to you either remember that.

You can heal, I am, and will continue to. I'll hold you hand along the way too if you want me too.

Melanie xxxx 

F.A.Q 

Why did you pick that site title?

My old site was called I am healing, I have hope. I feel I have moved on from that constantly striving for healing place I was in when I named it. I asked a friend what she thought and she told me this "it sounds like without the hope you had at that time, you would not have healed, so Hope heals is my suggestion" So from that Hope Heals was born.

Why would you want to write about being raped it’s horrible?

Yes you are right rape is horrible its soul destroying and its allowed to go on because rapists are protected by societies silence. I will not be part of that silence. I will speak about my abuse and rapes because I can, I will keep talking about them even when im told its not something to talk about because I will not be silenced by anyone ever again. I made this because I wanted to help others, because I care enough to want others to know that they aren’t alone. Being raped puts you in a very lonely place if my site helps one person out that place then its done its job.

I don’t believe you, that don’t happen.

Yes it does, it happened to me. I cant force you to believe me but you cant force me to care when you don’t. Being told that someone thinks you are lying is a terrible secondary wound and we have enough wounds to heal without being given more. I hope that you are capable of showing more compassion to people in your real life than you have just shown me. I only hope that you never find out for yourself that YES rape does happen.

I emailed you two-days/a week ect ago and you haven’t mailed me why?

I am a survivor just like you and I have days that I cant face just like you do. I will mail you back soon I promise. I read and appreciate your mail. However if all you mailed me for was to pour abuse into my inbox chances are you have as much chance of getting a mail back as I do of becoming the Queen. Also you may be using my old email address - the new one can be found at the top of the page.

Can I really heal from being raped?

Yes you can, healing is like a journey its one foot in front of another. At times you will have to stop and rest in one place for a while. Sometimes you will feel like it’s not worth it. But it is and so are you. You deserve to heal. Your attacker may have victimised you but you don’t have to stay a victim. Fight, fight and survive and you will win. You do not have to walk alone, please reach out for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of just how much courage you really have. Remember you are worthy.

If I keep mailing you will delete this site?

No!!! Does that answer your question?